Hello, it's been a while. I wrote this as proof that I'm having my worst days
again. Every day, I'm always down, incomplete, and alone. I have this feeling
that the universe and everything else are conspiring to make me take the road
straight down. Everything is sh*t in me. Every time I read the news about
someone who died, I wish that I were the one who died. Seriously, I wish I was
the one. I'm all alone, and always will be. I look back on the years, and I
wasted my prime years. As of now, stuck in my craft, I feel that I'm nothing. My
ideas are obsolete. Maybe I'll be successful if I take these years seriously.I
can provide for my family and be happier. but I waste it. Opportunities come,
and I shit on them. Now, I don't dare to do work. I feel like I'm the worst. I
do no good. Everything fails. Wrong. My anxiety makes it worse. Stuck in my
parent's house, I'm down. At my age and in this capacity, I wish I had died. I
feel happy sometimes. I met this girl and got back on track. I fell in love. But
one day she realized it would not work. My status is the reason. She doesn't
want to be second. I understand that, but I proved to her that she was the one.
Still, I fail. I wish I had died. I'm scared of taking my own. I prefer the
natural way. But for how long?
Save me.
