This is not a goodbye but until we meet again.

Sometime in 2012, afternoon. Chatting some random at YM, I met you. As hours passed by, we did talk. The days go as same as we meet. We have a great time, adventures, and passions. Fast forward to June 27, 2013, we're married. So perfect. But after seven years, we called it quits. I failed you, and you went on your own. To this day, we never talk. So lonely.

If we overcome those obstacles, we're celebrating at 10. But the itch caught us. We chose to part. I've learned to move on from you. Do some things a single man can do. I realized those were temporary. Happy, yes, but it is still lonely. Sometimes I miss you. I do.

Now, we already learned to be separated from each other. That's ok. I've enjoyed the years we've been together. Thank you for your time, attention, and love. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift, our kids. I promised you that I'd take care of them, always.

To you, Mica. Take care of yourself.

Life as I flunk it.

It's been months since that entry, and I've accepted the fact that she doesn't want me anymore. After that last meeting, it was painful. Fast forward to last Wednesday. I saw her story; she went out. I know it's why I should care, but I'm sad. I still have this foul feeling as of this writing, and she doesn't have the time to answer my call. Fuck this feeling of loneliness.

Funny Familiar Forgotten Feelings

Hello, it's been a while. I wrote this as proof that I'm having my worst days again. Every day, I'm always down, incomplete, and alone. I have this feeling that the universe and everything else are conspiring to make me take the road straight down. Everything is sh*t in me. Every time I read the news about someone who died, I wish that I were the one who died. Seriously, I wish I was the one. I'm all alone, and always will be. I look back on the years, and I wasted my prime years. As of now, stuck in my craft, I feel that I'm nothing. My ideas are obsolete. Maybe I'll be successful if I take these years seriously.I can provide for my family and be happier. but I waste it. Opportunities come, and I shit on them. Now, I don't dare to do work. I feel like I'm the worst. I do no good. Everything fails. Wrong. My anxiety makes it worse. Stuck in my parent's house, I'm down. At my age and in this capacity, I wish I had died. I feel happy sometimes. I met this girl and got back on track. I fell in love. But one day she realized it would not work. My status is the reason. She doesn't want to be second. I understand that, but I proved to her that she was the one. Still, I fail. I wish I had died. I'm scared of taking my own. I prefer the natural way. But for how long? Save me.